Combat Veteran around the Holidays

If you have a Combat Veteran in your family and you don’t like their moods and behavior around the holidays; please consider these six things:

1.) Your combat veteran has served in countries where people are blessed to receive a tattered pair of shoes or have clean water to drink; he/she no longer lives the “first world illusion” and no longer cares that if you buy one play station you can get a second one for fifty percent off. In fact, they find it hard to appreciate any of the gluttonous commercialism and overindulgence that permeates American holidays. Standing watch, boring as it was, had so much more purpose than going to the mall.

2.) Your Combat Veteran is thankful for the most basic things; not thankful for mega-sales and million dollar parades. They are thankful to be alive; thankful to have survived both the wars far away and the wars they struggle with inside.

3.) Your Combat Veteran is thankful that it wasn't them that got killed, but their celebrations are forever complicated by guilt and loss over those that were. Some of the most thankful times in their life were some of the scariest. Their feelings of thanks and celebration often conjure memories that are equally painful.

4.) Your Combat Veteran is not like you anymore. At some point, for some period of time, their entire life boiled down to just three simple things: when will I eat today, when will I sleep today, and who will I have to kill or will try to kill me today? They are not like you anymore.

5.) Your Combat Veteran does not need a guilt-trip or a lecture; they already feel detached in their grief while others so easily embrace the joy of the season. They need understanding and space; empathy not sympathy.

6.) Your Combat Veteran does love his/her family and is thankful for the many blessings in their life…and they are thankful for you

11/28/24, Facebook

For ALL my Non military friends out there, this may or may not help you understand those of us that served in the Military.

We Are Veterans.

We left home as teenagers or in our early twenties for an unknown adventure.

We said goodbye to friends and family and everything we knew.

We learned the basics and then we scattered in the wind to the far corners of the Earth.

We found new friends and new family.

We became brothers and sisters regardless of color, race or creed.

We had plenty of good times, and plenty of bad times.

We didn't get enough sleep.

We smoked and drank too much.

We picked up both good and bad habits.

We worked hard and played harder.

We didn't earn a great wage.

We experienced the happiness of mail call and the sadness of missing important events.

We didn't know when, or even if, we were ever going to see home again.

We grew up fast, and yet somehow, we never grew up at all.

We fought for our freedom, as well as the freedom of others.

Some of us saw actual combat, and some of us didn't.

Some of us saw the world, and some of us didn't.

Some of us dealt with physical warfare, most of us dealt with psychological warfare.

We have seen and experienced and dealt with things that we can't fully describe or explain, as not all of our sacrifices were physical.

We participated in time honored ceremonies and rituals with each other, strengthening our bonds and camaraderie.

We counted on each other to get our job done and sometimes to survive it at all.

We have dealt with victory and tragedy.

We have celebrated and mourned.

We lost a few along the way.

When our adventure was over, some of us went back home, some of us started somewhere new and some of us never came home at all.

We have told amazing and hilarious stories of our exploits and adventures.

We share an unspoken bond with each other, that most people don't experience, and few will understand.

We speak highly of our own branch of service, and poke fun at the other branches.

We know however, that, if needed, we will be there for our brothers and sisters and stand together as one, in a heartbeat.

Being a Veteran is something that had to be earned, and it can never be taken away.

It has no monetary value, but at the same time it is a priceless gift.

People see a Veteran and they thank them for their service.

When we see each other, we give that little upwards head nod, or a slight smile, knowing that we have shared and experienced things that most people have not.

So, from myself to the rest of the veterans out there, I commend and thank you for all that you have done and sacrificed for your country.

Try to remember the good times and forget the bad times.

Share your stories.

But most importantly, stand tall and proud, for you have earned the right to be called a Veteran.

May God continue to bless you and your family.

                                        PTSD

I came across this while going through some papers so I thought I would share it with you, this was developed by Vietnam Combat Veterans.

1. Please remember that my war experiences changed me. Having PTSD was not my choice, but I have to live with it.

2. PTSD is real. I am not crazy or stupid. Be patient with me and know that I still love and care about you.

3. Realize that going to crowded or noisy places makes me uncomfortable.

4. Please don't get upset with me when I can't remember to do something because my memory problem is real.

5. I don't want you to take it personally or think I'm mad at you when I explode or am short with you, get quiet, and/or confused. it's nothing that you've done. be patient with me, this does not mean that I don't love you.

6. I care about you and I do not want to hurt or harm those I love. So, if I am threatening or out of control, it might be best to leave me alone until I can calm down.

7. It is important to give me space during the time I need to be alone and I'll try to let you know when that is.

8. Please respect my need for silence. It is important and comforting to me.

9. Please talk in a low tone of voice, as loud as noises can trigger a negative reaction from me.

10. Realize that I have unpredictable highs and lows - good and bad days, and you do to.

11. I need for you to know that holidays and war related anniversary dates are tough times for me.

12. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed when you ask me a lot of questions. I'll come and talk to you when I can.

13. I may not share my traumatic experiences with you because it's painful and makes me feel bad to talk about it. Let me initiate this and respect me if I don't want to talk about it.

14. Just as you need to share things with other women, it is important that you allow me to talk to others, (i.e. doctors, veterans, or friends). I don't want you to feel bad if I talk to others about things, I can't talk to you about.

15. I want to be close to you and share my feelings, but often I can't and sometimes I don't know how to express my emotions.

16. I feel upset when you say "I understand" when there are some things that you may not understand. Sometimes I don't even understand.

17. My experiences have made it hard for me to trust other people. Please don't expect me to be as trusting of others as you may be.

18. I feel angry when you tell me what to do. It would help if you would make requests instead of demands, treat me with respect, and allow me to decide when I want to be included in conversations and the decision-making process.

19. It is helpful when you accept responsibility for your own stress and don't blame me or my PTSD for all your problems.

Please understand that all of us veterans who have been in combat are never the same. I am a veteran who went to Vietnam and when I came home, I was never the same. Combat changes a man/woman. It makes us aware of our surroundings at all times and we often take different routes to and from work. We may wake up in the middle of the night to check the doors, the vehicles, the windows in all the rooms of the house.

ALWAYS THANK A VETERAN FOR THE FREEDOM YOU ENJOY TODAY. BECAUSE IT'S VETERANS LIKE ME AND OTHERS WHO DIDN'T MAKE IT HOME SERVED TO PROTECT THE FREEDOM YOU HAVE TODAY.

Author unknown